I contend

that the greatest feeling in the world is putting on your favorite flannel shirt fresh and warm right out of the dryer.

Mmmmmmmm....

College Life: Chpt 1

As I was sitting here, working on atomic radiation models for hydrogen, a half-naked stoned guy that I'd never seen before wandered into my room and asked me for a bite of my pizza crust. I knew he was stoned, not because he asked a stranger for food, but because he was willing to eat the crust of a cafeteria pizza. I can only assume that the Led Zeppelin album I was listening to acted as a sort of beacon for him, leading him to believe he had found a kindred spirit. I ripped off a hunk of my crust for him and informed him that the cafeteria was open for another hour.

I love making people happy. I take a very distinct joy when something I say or do makes another person smile. I'm pretty good at it, too. But I think, out of all the happiness I could bring to this world, out of all the joy I could ever cause, I don't think any single action of mine could ever top the pure happiness that comes from telling a stoned college student that the cafeteria is open for another hour.

Tea

I think from now on I'll mostly be drinking tea instead of coffee. The cafe has a nice assortment of black teas, and they're 63p a cup rather than the 96p for a cup of coffee. Yes, I'm a cheap bastard even when it comes to my drugs.

Also, drinking tea will make me more British, which will make me a better writer. Science says it is so.

A Repost:

This is one of my personal favorite bits of my writing from my old blog, so I'm reposting it here so that even more people can read it.

Moondust

We'll trace her footsteps across the dust of the moon

Little patterns of the past

Tiny shadows that say

She was here

We don't remember her name

Not anymore

But she mattered

We remember that,

at least

She was here,

long cold years ago

She made a difference

Left her mark forever

We don't know what drew us here

Vague memories

Half-forgotten days in daylight

Places where there was grass and warmth and golden light

A long way away from

Dust and cold and light like old men's hair

We know the path is right

Nothing changes here

Not on its own

Nothing is clearer here than the past

So we walk

Tracing the old memories

We can't even remember now why she was important

But

We love her

Always will

So we keep following footsteps in the dust

Looking for someone long gone

Gone,

maybe,

before we were even born

Lost to the dust

Gone silver and cold

Nothing left of her but the dusty memories

Pulling us across a world

Looking forever

For someone we lost

And never had

In the grass and sun

Years past

Welcome...

to the blog. My blog. The blog which I have just created, at the insistence of several of my friends. Well, one, really. But he's a good enough friend that he counts as, like, 20 regular friends. So. I used to have a MySpace blog. But MySpace eats orphans. And also I think MySpace has the right to use whatever you post for their own profit. Which is hell no. Nobody but nobody will be profiting off my work except me. And orphans. Orphans, feel free to profit off my work. But only if you're a PROPER orphan. No 60-year old guys whose parents passed away at 100 or anything like that. Only REAL orphans can profit from my work. If you don't look like this, you ain't getting squat:
You can, however, have one of those newsboy hats as well. I will still accept you as an orphan then. No need to be hatless, little orphans.

Anyway. The first few posts will be a mix of original content and reposts of my favorites from my old MySpace blog. After that, though, everything will be all-new, all-fresh, all-original content.

Also look forward to contributions from some of my friends who I deem quality writers. Badwick Jacksonville Bravehome and Nick Friggin' will hopefully be semi-frequent contributors as well.

And hey. If you're reading this, Stumble it up, tell your friends, spread the link. Get me lots of traffic, and I'll get you a $sandwich.

The surest sign of the failing economy I've ever seen.

Forget the Dow Industrial Average, forget the pundits, forget the candidates. If you need proof of the utter inevitability of finincial collapse, look no further than this:


This is a bad infomercial. But not spectacularly bad, by infomercial standards. However, it does say something terrifying about our economy. Watch the video until you get to the part where they tell you how much it costs. Notice anything? No, not the ridiculous price, although the "Get A Grip Suction Handle" is absurdly expensive. What I'm talking about is the payment method.

2 easy payments of $9.99.

Back in my day, an infomercial product was 1 payment of $19.99. If anything ever cost more than $19.95, you can bet it would be divided up into X easy payments of $YY.YY, usually $19.95.

But now, now the economy is so busted, so hopeless, that the makers of the "Get A Grip Suction Handle" figure no-one can pay $19.95 all at once. They have to divide it up even more. This is a sign of the financial endtimes. Pretty soon we'll be back on the barter system, and then you'll be able to buy a 12-cd series of the greatest hair metal love ballads of the 1980s for just 4 easy payments of $chicken.

Incidentally, the Get a Grip official website ( www.buygetagrip.com where you can also watch a smaller, grainier version of their infomercial) looks like they paid their web designer in two easy payments of $9.99 too.

On an unrelated note, if anyone wants me to write for them, my services can be hired for the low low costs of 8 easy payments of $sandwich.